Hillbilly Elegy - Jan 26

We ________(举行了哀悼会) in Middletown that Thursday so all the locals could pay their respects, then had a second visitation in Jackson on Friday before a Saturday funeral.

Everyone I cared to see came to the funeral in Jackson—Uncle Jimmy and his kids, our extended family and friends, and all of the Blanton men who were still ________(活着的).

As I sat next to Uncle Jimmy in the pew, I sobbed throughout the hour-long funeral, my eyes so ________([眼睛因为长时间哭泣]受刺激) by the end that I could hardly see.

Papaw ________(筹备了一个计划): There were only two exits to Deaton’s, and no one had driven away yet.

Mamaw. They ________(守住了出口) to the funeral home and checked every car. When they encountered an old friend, they explained the situation and ________(请求帮助).

Uncle Pet approached, frustrated that Mamaw and Papaw were ________(堵塞交通). When they explained, Pet ________(狂笑起来): “He’s asleep in the church pew, let me show you.”

I thought about Papaw buying me a BB gun ________(带瞄准镜的).

From Papaw, I had learned excellent ________(基础知识/技能), and I qualified with an M16 rifle as an expert, the highest category, with one of the highest scores in my entire platoon.

Papaw was ________(脾气坏到极致). To every suggestion or behavior he didn’t like, Papaw had one reply: “Bullshit.” ________(每个人都知道该闭嘴了).

The suggestion ________(让外公措手不及).

He taught me that lack of knowledge and lack of intelligence were not the same. The former could be remedied with a little patience and a lot of hard work. And the latter? “Well, I guess you’re ________(没辙了).”

I thought about losing my temper with Mom or Lindsay or Mamaw, and how those were among the few times Papaw ever ________(表现出了他卑劣的一面), because, as he once told me, “________(衡量男人的标准) is how he treats the women in his family.”

Mamaw, too, seemed ________(失神). Kentucky was usually the one place where she was completely ________(如鱼得水/觉得自在).

At Perkins, our favorite breakfast spot, Mamaw’s mouth would sometimes ________(换来...的请求) from the manager that she keep her voice down or watch her language. “That fucker,” she’d mutter ________(压着嗓子说话), chastened and uncomfortable.

In Jackson, among old friends and real hillbillies, she ________(不需要在开口前思量措辞).

They found an extensive magazine collection, including a few issues of Beaver Hunt (a periodical that I can assure you has nothing to do with aquatic mammals).

________(稍微思量了会后), she changed her mind. “With my luck,” she told me, “we’ll get in a crash on the way back to Ohio and the police will find these damned things in my trunk.

I didn’t see at first that something had ________(改变了).

At home, she ________(一丁点的情绪控制都做不到了).

Papaw’s death ________(解释了一些一直隐藏在暗处的事情).

Similarly, Mamaw’s occasional references to Mom “________(intoxicated by alcohol or drugs especially, drunk)” seemed like random comments of a woman known for her willingness to say anything, not a diagnosis of a deteriorating reality.

But I always had ________(逃生通道).

From the poverty of the holler to Papaw’s abuse, from Aunt Wee’s teenage marriage to Mom’s ________(犯罪记录), Mamaw had spent the better part of her seven decades managing crises.

In the months after Papaw’s death, I remembered the woman I found in an isolated corner of Deaton’s funeral home and ________(总觉得) that, ________(不管外婆表现出来什么样的力量), that other woman lived somewhere inside her.

We didn’t ________(有组织性/纪律性).

When Lindsay learned that I got the beer from a friend of hers, she didn’t ________(发火/失去自制力) or laugh at the indulgence; she kicked everyone out and then lectured me on ________(滥用药物).